I have seen others having those painful, extended far-wells at Burning Man; it's sometimes hard not to stare when you see two people who probably just met that week holding on to each other for dear life. It is from some of those "hurts too much to say goodbye" goodbyes that lead to a slew of people picking up and moving to another city or in some cases, just never returning to what had been home until that week in the desert...

Last year on Sunday night after the Temple was reduced to ash and the dust devils had their way I had a surprising farewell that left me feeling exhilarated, hopeful and blessed. This year, I had a far more extended version with the same person and although it left me feeling blessed yet again, the sense of hope has changed into something more concrete and yet hard to hold and pick up; parting was sweet indeed but it was also topped off with sorrow. Had this long-playing, see you next year moment  occurred when the commissary was open and teeming with DPW crew, it probably would have gone down a little differently.

They would have demanded -- much like seagulls screaming -- that I kiss her, but I can't and I won't until I can and that is that...

And whilst some very big questions got replied to this year, I returned home with an equal number of still unanswered ones and new ones. I know what I need to fully settle and I almost feel like there is something like a ticking clock; it's music in 4-4 time and the chairs are being re-arranged and two weeks ago I thought I knew exactly where I wanted to be sitting when the tone arm gets lifted and the serenade ceases.

I know what needs to be done with what is in my control to handle and I have to trust the road after listening to the dust along the journey...

Yeah, it's good to be home and it's amazing that so much came back with me because at this precise moment it does feel like there was less waiting here and more that I need to create. And while I make it practice in the desert to ask for what I would like or for what I think I need, I need to bring that back with me, dust it off and put it into action in the so-called default world as well...

A dusty cheers to you,
Brian