I used to think I wanted to come back as bookstore cat (or as Keith Richards, but it's probably a foolhardy desire to come back as someone still "living;" I sincerely doubt Keef will ever shake off this mortal coil) and it seemed obvious. Even with the occasional idiot who can't read the "Please Don't Tap the Glass" sign in the window when you're basking in the sun, you've got mice, books, quiet and literate people it just seemed to be an even more cush life than even regular, ol' house cats have.

But I now am pretty sure the best thing to be is a left-handed middle reliever pitching in the Major Leagues. Every team now must have at least one "lefty specialist" out in the pen. Some have two or more; go figure. For the neophytes out there, there is a universally held baseball truth that pitchers have a better chance against batters who hit from the opposite side than what they are throwing, ie right-handers have a harder time vs. right-handed pitchers and vice versa. This is especially true when it comes to left-handed players. There are less lefty batters, even less southpaw pitchers (Southpaws are also known to be more than a handful when it comes to boxing; I am not sure if this "truth" hold true in football in regard to quarterbacks) so how often a lefty batter has to face a lefty pitcher is decreased significantly.

So in every Major League bullpen there's a lefty out there. He's permitted to be a little off, a little weird because he's a lefty. He usually knows he is being held for that one good lefty bat coming up in a crucial situation late in the ballgame. This is his job most nights: get that one guy out. Now here's why these guys stick around: they are a built in excuse for any manager: "Well, we have Old Southpaw out in the pen to get out Big Lefty Bat, so I did as the situation warranted but he didn't execute his pitch," or some variation on that is a quote most told. These lefties are more "Cover your ass" than closer and even if they crash and burn with one team, there is another lined up for their services and another after that. Since some of these set-up guys are getting burned out (just see this year's Yankee bullpen for dire evidence) it almost makes sense to pick up a guy who was ineffective the previous season(s?) since that means he wasn't over-worked and will be the guy for your pen.

If I had a son, I'd make him throw with his left hand and I would teach him to pound the zone with strikes and then I'd make him buy me a house and a yacht.

Back on the field the number of Yankees getting plunked is getting ridiculous. Colon and Garcia might have something to say about that in today's contest against the sinking Indians. You don't expect Nova to retaliate so that's why Girardi was out on the field and really in Cleveland manager Acta's face. I like Acta and yes he does have to defend his guy but it was more bullshit and rather obvious that Carmona threw way up and way in on Tex following Granderson's home-run hitting him high up on the shoulder. I am not advocating a beanball war, but someone needs to alert the rest of the League that hitting Yankee stars is not going to stand.

I'm happy the Yanks are not the Fox Saturday night game. It's cold and gray and a perfect day to watch a baseball game on TV.

Cheers,

Brian